


The Answer's Worth

by PreseaMoon



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:53:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9835892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PreseaMoon/pseuds/PreseaMoon
Summary: mentions of juhakumentions of yuuennext part will be M or E rating





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> mentions of juhaku  
> mentions of yuuen
> 
> next part will be M or E rating

Hakuryuu cannot recall the first time he met Kouen. That is, Ren Kouen his cousin and vassal to his brothers, not Ren Kouen his supposed older brother and Kou’s second first prince. An overwhelming majority of his childhood memories have been rendered hazy by smoke and embers. The ones eluding that fate ended up splintering into obscurity the older he got. Since his perspective proved itself to be untrustworthy time and time again, the loss has never felt as monumental as he knows it is.

After all, the only drive of his memories is to rule him. If he can barely remember them then they have no power. The only ones who get precedence over him are those he allows.

Yet this particular blank space bothers him immensely.

It is not that Hakuryuu cares about remembering when they first met, or even that he necessarily wants to, but he was staggered speechless to learn Kouen did recall it, and vividly at that. In more detail than Hakuryuu expected from the person he believed his cousin to be, Kouen recounted their minutes long encounter. How his prince was very small, weighed down by the elaborate robes only a son of the emperor was suited to wear, clutching his sister’s equally exquisite robes and only ever peeking out from behind her. How every time Kouen spoke he retreated and no amount of coaxing from his sister could get him to come out and give a greeting.

Kouen told him how disquieting it was to think he had upset his prince, whom he was meant to serve and protect, and how he sought to correct the offense with an apology right away. This only served to confuse and startle his unassuming prince further. All this, Kouen revealed with the smallest of fond smiles. His eyes distanced as though he could see it all replaying before him.

Ever since Kouen revealed this to him months ago during one of his first trips to the island, Hakuryuu has attempted to recall his version of this event, to no avail. As little as envision it even. Play it out in his mind and recognize them, because inexplicably—shamefully—when Kouen told him his emotions surged and his instinct screamed liar. Hakuryuu knows better—wants to know better. There’s nothing to be gained from such a trivial lie, yet his body and mind insist in tandem: do not trust Kouen do not trust Kouen. On repeat and echoing and demanding.

They will not be silenced.

No matter how many times Hakuryuu calls into the bleak hollow of his memories nothing worthwhile ever responds.

Do not trust him, his body says. We know better than you, his mind says.

But Hakuryuu has lived most of his life deferring to instinct, in perpetual survival mode; all it brought him was hardship and grief. So he ignores both and carries on, insisting he knows best.

He wants to trust Kouen, so badly that he disregards the fact that he does not. Together, the two of them pretend the feeling is not mutual. After all, Kouen has the lesser trust here. How could he not? His actions spell trust and his words are weaved with love, but he cannot trust Hakuryuu after everything that has been done. Nor should he.

Hakuryuu never seeks confirmation. He knows it in his heart, both of them do.

Hakuryuu asks Kouen what he would like to do, because whenever Hakuryuu visits they end up spending most of their time together. 

Kouen replies that a walk would be nice. So they go for a walk without acknowledging the fact Hakuryuu could kill him during it. He could come back and claim it was accidental; Kouen is frailer now and he tripped. Even an obvious lie they wouldn’t be able to argue with. He’d get away with it and the only consequence would be a heart weighed down by even more guilt.

Hakuryuu can’t kill Kouen. Despite his body’s doubt and his mind’s distrust, they can’t follow through. But Kouen’s brothers don’t know that, and neither do the soldiers stationed here who only bow before him because it’s Kouen’s will. They should never be too sure he can’t, either.

On their way out they pass through a room where Koumei, Kouha, and several soldiers are going over supplies. They ask where they are headed, equal parts curiosity and caution. Kouen’s answer does not elaborate beyond, “a walk.” Not to withhold information, but because their walks lead them where they lead them and aren’t along a planned route, although they often trail the same places. 

No one in the room likes the answer. The soldiers exchange glances. Either suspicious of Hakuryuu’s intentions or assuming they are will be getting up to acts they shouldn’t be engaging in for… more reasons than Hakuryuu can name, honestly. Kouha’s face contorts with undisguised distaste. All that keeps his tongue still is Koumei, whose expression never wavers, discreetly grabbing his elbow.

Sometimes Hakuryuu wonders if Koumei is the only person who trusts Kouen implicitly. Or perhaps it’s that Koumei is the only one Kouen can trust in all things.

With nothing an array of exchanged looks but not a word of protest, they continue on their way. Down the wooden path that forces them close. Then to the grass where they remain close for the sake of it. Their knuckles brush. Their fingers brush, almost interlocking and Hakuryuu resists. Smooth wood on soft skin, and he wonders if Kouen can tell.

When they reach the sand, and specifically where it’s looser, Hakuryuu’s arm goes around Kouen’s to help him walk. Pressed to him, he can feel the warmth of Kouen’s upper arm through the thin robe. Maybe he should bring him a new one, though Kouen seems to like this one fine and in fact enjoys how light it is.

These walks are Koumei’s fault in the first place. It was his suggestion that was not a suggestion at all. Because his big brother leads a rather sedentary lifestyle these days and will be less inclined to allow distractions if His Majesty is keeping him company. Hakuryuu did not mean for it to become habit, but the next morning they were up early together with nothing to do and in the evening it seemed to be an expectation neither corrected.

It’s a pleasant thing now. Something they can both look forward to, though neither of them has admitted it in words. The fresh air and the view, and the privacy. All of it they breathe in like it’s something they’ve never had or enjoyed.

The sun is so high it might already be beginning its descent; Hakuryuu cannot tell. Its rays give the sand a gentle glow while the ocean sparkles so bright it blinds. There is also a pleasant illumination given to Kouen’s face, even though it also highlights how much more wan he’s grown since Hakuryuu’s last visit. He makes a mental note to leave a few recipes to keep him healthier and arrange to have the ingredients delivered as much as needed.

As they make their way across the long stretch of beach the conversation stays consciously light, mostly restricted to how things have been on the island since Hakuryuu’s was last here, how Kouen and his brothers are faring and if they are still adjusting, if there is anything Hakuryuu can do to make their stay more comfortable. He wants there to be something he can do for them but there never is. Well, there isn’t aside from the one obvious thing he cannot achieve no matter what he tries or how he begs.

They do not talk about Kou or the status of Hakuryuu’s rule. They do not talk about the plethora of vile things Hakuryuu has done that should make his stomach churn but don’t. On this island the rest of the world might as well not exist. Kouen is an exile. And Hakuryuu isn’t anyone, either, no matter no many times Kouen calls him “Your Majesty.”

They do not talk about Sinbad.

“Your Majesty,” Kouen starts with the weight that precedes a request he suspects could be overstepping. Admonishment sits at the tip of Hakuryuu’s tongue but he holds it back. “Would you mind if we took a quick break?”

Hakuryuu looks out at the reddening sky, his brow furrowing. They’ve been walking for barely an hour. How Kouen’s health declined so much in not even a year is beyond him. The bags under his eyes seem deeper and darker than before and the prosthetic limbs Hakuryuu made him are less than polished. His robe is worn and loose, and Hakuryuu thinks he’s lost more weight.

Realizing he has yet to respond, Hakuryuu says, “Of course.”

Looking around, he sees this is an area Kouen often requests they break. So perhaps it is that, more than that he is actually tired. Kouen likes prolonging their time together. Hakuryuu is guilty of the same.

Nearby is a heavy, mossy log with just enough shade. Depending on the time of day, it can give a pretty view of the skyline. Currently the sky is bleeding into pinkish purple where it meets the sea. The sun is a huge, molten red-orange blot that smears the sky further with orange and reflects in a shimmer on the ocean below. In the darkest bits of the sky, if he stares hard enough, he can see the small beginnings of visible stars.

Feeling eyes on him, his neck and shoulders tense. With a deep breath he banishes feeling, forces himself to relax. When he tilts his head to get a look at Kouen, he finds his expression to be one of mild curiosity and consideration.

Seeing that he’s being waited on, Kouen closes his eyes, visibly crafting the words he means to say. Careful, the way he always is with Hakuryuu, as though every letter and syllable must be handpicked and examined closely to avoid upsetting him. Finally, Kouen takes a short, decisive breath. “Your Majesty is always watching the sky,” he states, a simple observation.

Hakuryuu blinks. Vision black, then meeting blurring hues of red and blue, stars standing out more than they had been. He gives Kouen his attention for just a moment. Then he swivels his gaze back to the sky. Knowing full well that it’s true, he wonders, “Am I?”

“Yes,” Kouen answers with a slight lilt, as though Hakuryuu’s blithe response was not one he was anticipating. A tiresome trend, but one Hakuryuu is guiltier of.

Kouen looks out at the sky as well, searching for but unable to find whatever has caught Hakuryuu’s interest. Wondering, perhaps, if it’s merely the sky’s beauty that has him enchanted, or if it’s something more. Maybe this is a hobby Hakuryuu has always had; Kouen wouldn’t know after all. They know so little about each other. Practically nothing. They are strangers more than they are brothers, and lovers more than they are strangers.

Seated on the log, their thighs are pressed together and Hakuryuu’s hand sits too high. His fingers rest between Kouen’s legs in a way that can only be described as improper no matter how it’s looked at. Worse yet, his fingers clutch the thin fabric of his robe, and inch it higher, revealing a patch of the tan skin underneath.

Without fully thinking the consequences through, Hakuryuu says, “Judar,” and the name rings through the entirety of his body. His hair tingles and his skin tightens as though it’s trying to break his bones. That name hangs heavy in the air before them. A curse, an ill omen, one Hakuryuu does not feel particularly inclined to banish. 

Regardless of Hakuryuu’s thoughts or wishes, his name dissipates anyway. A stray breeze catches it, and carries it far, far out to sea, where Hakuryuu cannot do anything—not see it nor hear it nor help it. Long gone, leaving he and Kouen to themselves and it’s a lonely thing.

Out of nowhere there’s a pit in his stomach, enormous and all consuming. When Hakuryuu attempts to swallow it away it only deepens, dropping impossibly low. Through his feet, through the log and into ground beneath him, carving into him like he’s melting wax. 

“Do you know what happened to him?” Hakuryuu asks. How casual his voice sounds makes him feel so light it’s no different from feeling empty.

“No,” Kouen says, and neglects to add that he’s heard rumors. Everyone has. Everyone knows their oracle and priest is dead. That much Hakuryuu has not bothered trying to hide.

Hakuryuu is not certain if there’s a tactful way to put it. Not that he’s made an effort to craft one. The details of Judar’s demise belong to no one but him. Just like the rest of their time together, it’s private and not for the eyes of others.

“I didn’t see him die. Part of me wants to believe he’s out there somewhere, but… I know better.” For such a cruel death it would be kind if he went quickly, without prolonged suffering. How long can Judar’s borg last? Would Judar make it last as long as possible?

Hakuryuu wonders if he had any regrets, in the end. If right up until the last breath his conviction in Hakuryuu remained. Whether he did or not, something tells Hakuryuu he has not managed to live up to the things Judar saw in him.

Realizing he’s gone silent and Kouen has yet to respond, he says, “I’m going to hold a funeral soon. I should have a long time ago, but…” He doesn’t pick the sentence back up, and shrugs instead.

“You must miss him.”

“I—” Hakuryuu’s voice chokes and there’s buzzing in his head. His eyes are dry when he doesn’t expect them to be. For some reason he has the instinct to argue. About what, he’s not sure. That Kouen doesn’t know that? He clearly does. That he doesn’t miss Judar? He does miss him, greatly and more than he knows how to express. 

After a pause he admits it. “I do miss him,” soft and growing softer like he doesn’t want it to be heard.

Kouen’s hand finds his, pushes between Hakuryuu’s fingers to hold him. His hand is rough with calluses and his palm is so warm it makes Hakuryuu shiver. Kouen turns to look towards him but avoids looking directly at him too long. “It will subside over time. Although, perhaps not completely.”

“What will?”

“The grief.”

Hakuryuu already doesn’t care for any of the directions this conversation might head. His mouth blunders on anyway, because it doesn’t care about his best interests. “Is that how it was for you?” 

He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want Kouen to say, but an answer is already forming heedless of Hakuryuu’s unspoken desires.

“It is. I will never be without it, but it’s… far more tolerable now, than it was at the start.”

“It was a long time ago.”

Kouen gives Hakuryuu an appraising sort of look, like the bits and pieces that have made a jigsaw Hakuryuu until now have shifted without notice, in places that fit but make the picture jumbled. He has to realign them into a Hakuryuu that makes sense with the one he knows. 

“It does not always feel that way,” Kouen says. “It’s not the same for you?” From the way he says that, it’s apparent that Hakuryuu not sharing in that feeling doesn’t quite compute for him.

Hakuryuu swallows. It is that way for him and it is not. But how Hakuryuu views that event, the things he remembers and doesn’t remember are not for Kouen to know. Sometimes he wants to forget his brothers and other times he wishes he could remember them more than he does. A couple times he seethed with jealousy, because it seems he’s the one to understand and know them the least.

“I… I don’t know. It’s not the same thing.”

Kouen looks at him a moment, face totally expressionless. “You are right.” He bows his head. “I apologize.”

“I—” Hakuryuu holds his tongue between his teeth. “You don’t need to apologize.” He hates when Kouen apologizes to him, because half the time he has no idea what the apology is for and never wants to ask.

Kouen lifts his head and looks at Hakuryuu sideways. “While they may be different experiences, my grief is not unlike your own now.”

“Is it?”

“I imagine so. The grief of losing a lover is a recognizable thing.” He pauses, thinking better of what he’s about to say then saying it anyway. “You wear it plainly.”

“Oh.” Hakuryuu has not taken pains to hide it or display the grief that’s embedded itself in his bones, but no one has commented on it before. “I didn’t realize.”

“Your Majesty tends to be forthright with emotion, and it is not the sort of thing that’s easily hidden.”

“I can see it on you, too.”

Kouen glances at him, interest in his features.

“Not always,” Hakuryuu adds. “I can tell you miss him, and want him still. Usually when we’re in bed,” he says with a sly look that falls away too fast. “Other times, too, but it’s most apparent then.” He trails off.

Kouen waits for him.

He takes a hesitant breath. “That’s why you took his sword, isn’t it. To have something tangible to remember him by.”

Hakuryuu doesn’t have anything like that to remember Judar. Belial, perhaps? But Belial isn’t with him. Even if he were, Hakuryuu thinks that might be too macabre and representative of the wrong things—or maybe Belial represents exactly what it should of their relationship. Those aspects aren’t the ones he wants to cherish.

He could search through Judar’s room at the palace for something, but the few times Hakuryuu has been in there were overwhelming. The room was unrecognizably Judar with its gaudy baubles and finery that were Judar’s expectation but not his taste. He lacked the heart to dig through the props looking for something real. 

When Kouen fails to respond after a generous amount o time, Hakuryuu moves their hands to his lap instead and leans his head on Kouen’s shoulder. Kouen stole his brother’s sword; Hakuryuu came to terms with that long ago. It might stir up some indignation now and then, but not enough for Hakuryuu to make a fuss about it.

Kouen still doesn’t speak. He’s very still but Hakuryuu can feel him breathing.

Hakuryuu lifts his head up. Chin on Kouen’s shoulder and he squeezes Kouen’s hand. “What is it? I’m not angry.”

Kouen breathes out. “I did not take it after his death.”

“What?” He nearly insists that Kouen did take it but his tongue and mouth won’t move.

Kouen takes a breath that’s a little less steady. “The sword.” He stops abruptly. His mouth hangs open for a few beats before he goes on. “He. His Highness Prince Hakuyuu gifted me his prized sword prior to my expedition to conquer Astaroth, Your Majesty.”

Hakuryuu furrows his brow. He rests his cheek on Kouen’s shoulder, looking behind them. “Why?”

He doesn’t want to know.

He wants to know more than anything.

Kouen squeezes his hand first now, and Hakuryuu squeezes back with just as much strength.

“We did not know how long I would be gone. As much as he might have liked to, His Highness could not come,” Kouen trails off there, somewhat wistful. He collects his thoughts. “It was His Highness’s way of expressing his feelings and commitment, and I am forever grateful to him for it.”

Hakuryuu keeps quiet.

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s very… personal, and dear to me.”

Not knowing how to digest this information or how to respond to it, Hakuryuu says, “It’s okay.” He pushes his face to Kouen’s shoulder and wills it to be true. 

It is okay.

His brother is long dead and Hakuryuu is the one left here. He is not a replacement even though he is.

“Will you look at me?”

Hakuryuu lifts his head and lolls it in front of Kouen, but does not actually look at him, letting his hair fall into his face. “What?”

Kouen moves his head forward to gently headbutt him, keeping their foreheads together. Subtly, he looks him over. For signs of displeasure, for anger, for any emotional response that will tell him how he might proceed. 

Without bite Hakuryuu repeats himself. “What?”

“Nothing.” Kouen pushes Hakuryuu back and then rises to kiss his forehead. “You are very strong.”

Hakuryuu grumbles under his breath while his cheeks flush. He drops his head to tuck it under Kouen’s chin and leans into him. He wraps his other arm around him to get close as he can. Hakuryuu does not feel very strong. If he has any strength, what has it ever done for him?

Kouen works his hand free and wraps it around Hakuryuu instead. He sighs.

Hakuryuu nudges his nose against Kouen’s throat.

“It’s okay,” he breathes against Kouen’s skin. His lips move against him, forming the words over and over until they sink into Kouen and become one with him. Then he grits his teeth and searches his mind for the right thing.

Kouen leans over to kiss the side of his head. His lips brush the shell of Hakuryuu’s ear and he says, “You will be.”


	2. Chapter 2

Kouen is thin, which is an unnatural look for him.

With every visit to the island Hakuryuu finds more muscle has withered away, replaced with softness that doesn’t come close to suiting him. Recently the change has been more extreme, the softness degrading into scrawniness. Almost. It’s scrawny compared to what he was before. Areas that were once nice and rounded have become angular, close to the bone. He’s not quite flabby, but loose. 

Needs to eat more than he is. Though, Kouen dismisses those worries as soon as they are brought up. He is fine, in good health, eating as he should be. While he might miss a meal or two through alleged forgetfulness, his brothers keep an eye on him and do not let him slack off too much. That is what he claims, anyway, but it is not enough to account for the weight loss and lethargy Hakuryuu has observed.

What is there to even say in response to something so unconvincing?

All Hakuryuu can do is remind him to take care of himself. As if he has any right to when he is wholly culpable for Kouen’s position in the first place.

Then, frustratingly, Kouen will express gratitude for His Majesty’s attention and care, without fail. The satisfaction Hakuryuu gets from this is minimal, as it is impossible to discern how much of it is a lie.

Kouen enjoys Hakuryuu’s attention and touch very much. Too much, Kouen would probably say.

And Hakuryuu wishes he’d openly not care. By pretending to care Hakuryuu has no idea what he is ultimately playing at.

When Hakuryuu brings Kouen to the bath after their walk, which Kouen knew very well he was going to do, he says, “Your Majesty shouldn’t.”

It is a phrase he uses often, particularly when Hakuryuu does something that puts himself in a servile position. A token misgiving for the sake of maintaining some twisted sense of propriety. Who knows whom for. Their individual propriety and dignity is patchwork tatters if any of it ever existed in the first place. Hakuryuu does not know whom this show is for. He ignores it, as he always does.

That tends to be the key to dealing with Kouen, Hakuryuu has found. On many occasions the best course of action is to assert yourself over him. Whether that’s the rule for Hakuryuu—or maybe the title of “emperor” on its own—he can’t say. Neither does he wish to ruminate on it. But a perfunctory protest has been the consistent trend ever since Hakuryuu first came to the island.

So when Kouen says, “Your Majesty shouldn’t,” Hakuryuu instead finishes removing Kouen’s prosthetic limbs. The wood has already grown worn, with various nicks and imperfections marring the dark wood, especially on the legs and feet. Returning them to new would be easy, but Kouen rejected the suggestion saying they are fine as they are. 

After setting them aside he brings Kouen, disrobed, to the edge of the bath. Then he gathers the things they’ll need, setting them within reach, and lights a stick of incense as well as several candles. Whenever he passes by he can see Kouen watching from the corner of his eye, turning more attentive when Hakuryuu’s robe slips from a shoulder.

Because Kouen likes it when Hakuryuu touches him he hasn’t moved into the water. The bath has been specifically constructed for Kouen to handle his needs himself. Yet these facts are not acknowledged by either of them.

Hakuryuu gets into the water first, Kouen’s eyes on him all the while, waiting. Then he turns around, wraps his arms around Kouen’s waist, and pulls back to ease him into the heated water. With unabashed intent he glides right into Hakuryuu’s lap and presses a kiss to his neck at the first opportunity.

The rush of affection causes Hakuryuu’s breath to hitch at its suddenness and he lets them drift closer to the center while Kouen’s kiss shifts to light sucking, his teeth teasing.

They stay like that for a little while, soaking in the warmth of each other. Then once Hakuryuu thinks they have delayed long enough he gently tugs away. Kouen’s hand linger at his side as if to pull him back in. A not unpleasing thought, but Hakuryuu hasn’t pushed him far enough in that direction for it to happen yet.

Besides, they are here for a reason and it isn’t that. Hakuryuu starts to lather up his hands and moves Kouen’s limbs however he needs to wash him. While he does so Kouen decides to remind him, “There are servants that can do this,” as though he has not said those exact words innumerable times before this. Then comes the next part. “It is a task unsuited to Your Majesty.”

“Soldiers,” Hakuryuu corrects. “Not servants.”

“Your Majesty is not a servant either.”

Certain years at the palace would disagree with him. “They can’t manage you like I do.” Hakuryuu looks at him, daring him to disagree. 

Perhaps to make a point, he grabs Kouen’s sides. Possessive and rough, pulling and twisting his skin enough to leave light marks. Looking right at him, one hand drops between his thighs, squeezing one like it belongs to him, which it does. He watches Kouen close his eyes and his expression loosens. His thighs part further. Wanting more. Needing more.

He’s waiting on it, and this too is predictable.

Hakuryuu slides close and closer still, chests pressing together, taking Kouen’s back to the edge. Simultaneously, Hakuryuu’s hand moves. It wraps around his soft cock and works it slowly; Kouen breathes relief.

He breathes Hakuryuu’s name and it is a thing of pure need. The gentle movement of his hips exudes urgency.

Softly, meaning to be threatening but arousal perforates so thoroughly as to diffuse it, he says, “Maybe you would prefer their touch to mine. I can get someone else. Would you like that?”

Equally breathless, Kouen says, “No.” Subtly, he adjusts his arm so Hakuryuu will not be able to leave his hold so easily. “You will stay.”

Hakuryuu looks at him, searching, and Kouen looks back, waiting. It becomes too much, and Hakuryuu breaks, ducking his head low. Kouen is so shameless to behave this way. The way he seeks Hakuryuu’s attention. Demands it. Sulks when he is denied it. Takes it and takes it like he is trying to leave Hakuryuu destitute. Like it is all he has left, and it just might be. 

Hakuryuu cannot stand the desperation he reflects back at him. It is a suffocating, ever expanding vortex.

In an attempt to regain his bearings, Hakuryuu leans back to regard Kouen coolly. As if the tension laden in that short exchange was all a figment of one of their imaginations. “Good, then. So there’s no reason to complain. You just want to be contrary.” As usual.

To that, Kouen does not respond, and Hakuryuu resumes his methodical process of cleaning him, leaving his cock forgotten. He smooths over Kouen’s ribs, where he can feel the outline of his ribs if he presses enough. The many untold scars that mar his body create a pleasant friction across his fingertips. He explores all the crevices of Kouen’s body. Every familiar inch of him that Kouen leans into as if the hunger consuming him is something being discovered for the first time.

Sometimes, his hands stray towards sensual, overly purposeful in making Kouen gasp or shiver, wanting that miniscule jerk of his hips. He looks forward to Kouen whimpering to ask for what they both know he desires.

“Do you ever tire of trying my patience?” Hakuryuu eventually asks. Casual, like he is not in the middle of working Kouen up.

Kouen’s eyes drift up lazily. Blink a few times as if not fully comprehending the question. Already his pupils are dilating. He swallows and licks his lips. “It is not my intent. I apologize if I have done something to earn Your Majesty’s ire.”

Hakuryuu narrows his eyes. Then he looks aside. “It would do you well to lose some of that pride.”

Infuriatingly, Kouen’s mouth quirks into a gentle smile. “Oh? I will keep note of that, Your Majesty.”

His eyes flutter open dreamily to give him an overly fond look. Hakuryuu has to shut his eyes to escape it. Not that it helps his rapidly beating heart. If anything it forces him to pay more attention to it.

When he dares to peek Kouen is still smiling and it’s too late for Hakuryuu to turn back.

He does the only thing he can, and dumps water over Kouen’s head until his hair is sufficiently wet.

After taking a breath but before his breath evens out he moves onto Kouen’s lap. His erection, now full and neglected, presses to Hakuryuu’s thigh, so close to his groin it’s more of a tease for Kouen than him. Hakuryuu shifts a little, for a better angle that lets him rub Kouen’s erection idly. Other than that, he pays it no attention so he can wash Kouen’s hair like he was going to.

His hands push into Kouen’s hair and massage his scalp. Kouen slouches toward him in response, practically purring in content and grumbling whenever Hakuryuu starts to wash it properly.

It does not take long, and as soon as it’s done his hands go around Kouen’s neck, rubbing it while he stares at his mouth.

What is either of them waiting for. Hakuryuu doesn’t know if this is meant to be a game or not.

Hakuryuu kisses him. Long and deep, dirty, like this is the lewdest act they could be engaging in. In spite of it—because of it—Kouen reciprocates eagerly, cock throbbing against Hakuryuu’s skin. They kiss and kiss, one upping each other in passion. Each kiss is filthier than the one preceding it. Hakuryuu bites Kouen’s lips whenever he gasps for air. Kouen chases after to capture his mouth every time Hakuryuu pulls back. 

They kiss until they aren’t. Instead breathing each other’s air while their bodies rock in an effort to satiate what their mouths can’t on their own.

Discreetly, Hakuryuu submerges his hand and, keeping a steady eye on Kouen, starts rubbing his entrance with two fingers. He keeps a slow pace, waiting for his nerves to settle. Once they do he carefully works in the tip of one finger. Then the tip of a second eases in beside it. The process of opening himself up requires patience but is more than worth it. Just thinking about the thickness of Kouen’s cock stretching him like nothing else ever has makes him shiver in anticipation.

Kouen cocks his head and furrows his brow slightly when he notices. That’s when Hakuryuu grabs Kouen’s erection with his free hand and gives it slow, firm strokes. Kouen gasps, and then he groans hoarsely, loud, voice bouncing off the water and echoing around them. 

“Hakuryuu,” he breathes. He lets his head fall back as Hakuryuu gives his cock much needed attention. He moans like he hasn't been touched properly in months, though Hakuryuu doubts that’s the case. “Oh. Hakuryuu.” 

When Hakuryuu guides his cock further and pushes it inside, Kouen moans. Loud, lewd, lovely. Like this tight hug around just the head of his cock is too much for him to handle. His hips wiggle, consciously avoiding pushing further in no matter how much effort it takes. Finally, there is darkness in his eyes, and Hakuryuu wants to draw it out further to play with.

But that can come later. For now Hakuryuu has to let himself to adjust. The burning sensation is undeniable and enough to make his eyes tear up. Though, he holds it back. Blinks the tears away and steadies himself with a breath. It doesn’t really hurt much, even when taking more and his body wants to tense up in retaliation. And if it does hurt, it certainly isn’t anything he can’t handle.

Either way, Hakuryuu puts all his energy and care into feeling good. That’s all he wants. And Kouen is going to give it to him.

Hakuryuu kisses Kouen, moaning right into it as he sinks deeper on his cock. It’s like melting; he can barely feel the water surrounding them. The only thing centering him is Kouen’s rough hand rubbing his back.

Maybe Hakuryuu takes the entirety of Kouen’s cock. Maybe he doesn’t. All that matters is that it feels so, so good. It throbs inside him, pulsing need so raw and hot it syncs up with the rush of Hakuryuu’s blood. He can barely find air, and loses what little he has when Kouen’s cock swells even bigger to test his limits.

Hakuryuu is going to drown in his guilt. It will be so sweet.

Both of them commence moving, gentle at first. They sway with each other, with the water. Forward and back, a rhythm developing on its own. Kouen thrusts firmly at the exact right moments and Hakuryuu clenches in return, automatic. Every bit of it is natural and intimate. Even the occasional stolen kisses are passionate in a way they have no business being. Making love, that is what it is like. Though, it feels traitorous to even entertain the thought. 

That’s not what this is. If they wanted that, absurd as it is, it would be impossible.

To dispel that unwanted idea, he moves faster. The water rises higher and higher to the edge. As do they. Closer and closer, tantalizing.

Kouen exchanges the arm across Hakuryuu’s back so he can bring his hand to Hakuryuu’s cock. The action is so unexpected his breath hitches. Then he smiles, because it’s good to know this is Kouen’s mood. There are nights where he prefers to play helpless when he is anything but. A breath’s effort is all it would take to force Hakuryuu under the water and drown him. They both know it.

Like he can sense Hakuryuu’s thoughts, Kouen gives his cock a few tugs. He watches Hakuryuu closely, and decides on his own when it is time.

The sensations that hit Hakuryuu then are almost too much at once. Too much. Too compact. Grasping anything beyond them is impossible. The water all around him might as well be steam. Kouen’s skin on his is pure heat. Even his own body is so thickly layered in feeling it might as well be skies away.

One moment he is blinking in euphoric daze, unable to think. The next his sticky cheek is on Kouen’s shoulder. It feels like his body is going to melt into the bath.

They stay close like that until the water cools and the feel of Kouen inside him ceases being tolerable.

He pushes away from Kouen and drifts further back, putting more distance between them than necessary or desired. For some reason, a wave of embarrassment washes over him. If Kouen notices him looking stubbornly away from him, he allows a kindness by not drawing attention to it. 

Hakuryuu washes himself and can feel Kouen’s eyes on him. It crosses his mind to order he look elsewhere, but he does not truly want Kouen looking anywhere else.

In silence Hakuryuu finishes, though he does not feel that much cleaner regardless of how thorough he is. Then, he leaves Kouen in the water so he can dry off, put things back in place, and stretch. Getting Kouen out of the bath is always a task. The loss of weight and limbs doesn’t make it any easier. He’s still larger than Hakuryuu and handling him can be awkward. Kouen, too, is unused to being carried and is unhelpful when they lose any balance.

Getting Kouen out of the water, however, is the easy part. Together, and with the assistance of Kouen’s cane, they get him up and to the bench. With minimal discussion, Hakuryuu calls for one of the many soldiers that typically help Kouen with needs like this. It cannot be helped. One of these days Hakuryuu will be able to do it on his own, but not yet. He does what he can, which is carry the prosthetics.

The entire way there Hakuryuu remains more than a handful of steps behind. Thinking of it, it possibly looks quite sulky. Perhaps he is sulky. A little bit, anyway. He likes for them to be discreet. This is about as indiscreet as can be. Not that it would really be any better if he could manage carrying Kouen on his own, but at least there wouldn’t be any witnesses. They’d be making an effort to reinforce the mist thin illusion that there is nothing between them.

The soldier’s gaze lands on Hakuryuu when he scans the room like there could be some threat hidden behind the wood. It sits on him for only a second, but a second is all it takes. There is no suspicion among the soldiers here. They all know. No matter how much Hakuryuu would rather they not. The looks are as bad as and sometimes worse than commentary.

After Kouen is set comfortable on the bed they share an exchange Hakuryuu cannot hear. As soon as it’s just the two of them again he has to resist demanding Kouen tell him what was said.

Sensing Hakuryuu’s discomfort, Kouen glances at him. Then he pats the bed and moves to make space. “Come.”

Rather than do Kouen says, he takes his time finding where to store the prosthetics. Just for the sake of being petty. Then Hakuryuu makes his way from one side of the bed to the other, keeping his distance. He looks over the room, the meager possessions Kouen has acquired since he’s been here. Books and notebooks and scrolls, there isn’t much personality to the room. A few choice decorations Hakuryuu brought from Kou. The way it looks is more reminiscent of a shack than a bedroom. That is better than a cell, though he’s not about to ask if Kouen agrees.

He continues with purpose, taking steps toward Kouen then away. Their looks measure one another, and he is not entirely sure if it is in a playful or challenging manner. Every step Kouen gives him a little more. First is the sash tugged loose, shifting so it will slip open. Next he lies back and opens his legs in happy offering. These things remain even when Hakuryuu steps away, knowing it will not be long.

As much as Hakuryuu might like to deny him simply for being arrogant, he has no real desire to. They are alone, again, and their time is short.

Hakuryuu drops to the bed and crawls up to Kouen. At first their kisses are chaste, few then many at once. Unmoving. In a way they are reacquainting with the natural heat of each other. Every kiss chips away the pretense of indifference until it might as well not exist. Panting and soft moans fill the room in no time.

Hakuryuu strokes Kouen’s pliant thighs. The gentle touch of his fingertips is all the encouragement Kouen needs to open them farther. A breathy whine follows immediately. Hakuryuu settles his covered groin on a thigh and humps it unhurriedly. That contact is all it takes to make Kouen groan. There is a sigh, followed by a shudder. And then Kouen bucks his hips with almost enough force to throw Hakuryuu off balance.

Kouen pushes Hakuryuu’s robe off one of his shoulders. Then he pulls at his sash and struggles with it until it finally loosens. He has to tug the fabric away so their skin touches. The moan he gives when Hakuryuu’s cock twitches against him is so desperate Hakuryuu tenses. He grabs Hakuryuu’s collar and pulls him close for a rough kiss. 

Hakuryuu continues to hump him while they kiss, his hips moving quicker. Then he shifts slightly, so on the next movement his cock reaches Kouen’s. They gasp at almost the same time and their eyes meet.

Kouen exhales hot and shudders again. His mouth forms a little o when Hakuryuu’s cock twitches right against his, and twitches in return. With a small sound he pushes his chest out. Hakuryuu decides to oblige him, kissing across his shoulders then his chest. As he does this, Kouen watches, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. Sometimes when they engage in these acts Kouen behaves as though it’s such an impossibility, like he’s in awe.

“You are beautiful.”

Scoffing is nearly impossible with how heavy he’s breathing, but in its place he pinches Kouen’s chest with his teeth. That’s such a troublesome thing to hear. The words cause an unwanted rush of elation that makes him lightheaded. It’s not like Kouen means it. Not really. The sentiment behind it is wrong.

Hakuryuu pushes his face back to Kouen’s neck and puts his hand between his legs. He prepares Kouen’s ass with oil and thrusts his fingers roughly as soon as he’s able. Perhaps even a little too soon, but Kouen does not complain, just moans further. Every thrust and scissor of his fingers wrests another needful cry.

During the entire process Kouen mumbles “more” without end. He writhes under him and rolls into Hakuryuu’s fingers with consistent urgency no matter how many fingers there are or how deep.

Then comes what Hakuryuu has been waiting for: Kouen’s desperate pleas to be fucked. He holds his thighs open as much as he can, which is not very far at all. His hand reaches down as well, trying to hold himself open. He meets Hakuryuu’s gaze with something resembling a pout as he weakly moves his hips as if in question. When? Please. Now. 

It is because he gets this way that Hakuryuu cannot believe he waits for Hakuryuu’s visits to get fucked. He wants it so much. What restraint does he have? Especially on this island where there is little else to do. He doesn’t have any loyalty to Hakuryuu no matter what he wants Hakuryuu to think.

He gets worse when Hakuryuu finally gives him the head of his cock. That bit alone results in him moaning loud. Crying out like it’s nothing but a tease. He can’t stand that he has to wait longer. Yet he knows it is Hakuryuu that’s in charge here, so no words leave his mouth. He waits.

A moment longer and Hakuryuu pushes all in. He gives himself a handful of seconds to appreciate Kouen’s satisfied moan while Kouen basks in how amazing it feels to be full. His back makes a beautiful arch, pressing to Hakuryuu’s body. He wraps his arms around Hakuryuu and holds him as close as he possibly can. At every twitch and hard thrust he moans like it is the highest pinnacle of pleasure he’s ever had.

Unlike earlier, there is nothing gentle about this sex. In some ways that makes it all the more passionate. He clamps down on Hakuryuu’s cock with perfect rhythm, meets his every thrust like he’s reading his mind. They move like they mean to outdo each other. So good it tingles from Hakuryuu’s neck to his fingertips to his toes. It wants to overwhelm him and he refuses.

It ends far too soon, but it’s only because Kouen refuses to let up and as a consequence neither does Hakuryuu. Every squeeze and every buck of his hips is like it is trying to make Hakuryuu come. He is impatient to be filled with his cum. Under his breath, possibly nonsense, he mumbles his need.

Hakuryuu comes. So bright and intense his thrusts stagger as he rides it out. So all encompassing that he almost misses it when Kouen follows, spilling hot over them both. Tears fill his eyes, overflowing with the first blink. His state of mind is just enough to wipe them away.

Hakuryuu pulls out to a sweet, mournful sound from Kouen. He rolls to the side and cleans himself up with a wet cloth he prepared. He closes his robe back up but leaves the sash undone.

Beside him, Kouen’s eyes are close. Obviously soaking in the residue of their passion and filth. His thighs remain open wide and his robe only accentuates how exposed he is. Cum drips out of his fucked out hole seemingly without end in a grotesque display. He looks so content, like there is no place else he would rather be.

After an indecisive moment, Hakuryuu also cleans off the cum on Kouen’s stomach. As he does so Kouen watches him carefully, like he is considering protesting. That’s just like him, but Hakuryuu doesn’t want the mess to be bigger than it needs to be. They just bathed.

They rest for a little while, with Hakuryuu’s head on Kouen’s shoulder and legs over his lap. They lie there for so long that he starts to get drowsy and it seems to be the end of their night. He can’t decide whether he finds that shame or not.

Cautiously, Kouen peels Hakuryuu’s robe open again. He turns toward him, legs on either side of him. His expression is so intense. “You do not have to leave.”

“Just what are you assuming?”

“Were you not about to announce your exit? My apologies. It would appear there is no need to seduce you, then. Not yet.”

Hakuryuu blinks, the words not quite coming together with the meaning. He closes his eyes when it hits him, trying to will away the blush fighting under his cheeks. “As if you could.”

Kouen laughs. “That is not the attitude Your Majesty held last visit.”

“If I gave you that impression you misunderstood.”

The smile doesn’t go away. Still carefully, Kouen pulls Hakuryuu a little lower, so the pillows behind him are actually behind his head. “Your Majesty was very clear. There was no room for misinterpretation.” He presses full kisses down the side of Hakuryuu’s face and down to this neck to his shoulder. His hand traverses the length of his body, nearing the edge of his burn scars. “Sleep with me.”

Hakuryuu exhales softly and fidgets, unconsciously angling his body to be more accessible. “What?”

“Stay the night with me.” 

“I don’t know.” He squirms further as Kouen’s deft fingers play with the skin of his thigh. Meanwhile his mouth kisses lower, kisses slower, leaving a warm trail that begs for attention.

“Do you not?” Kouen’s teeth oh so carefully trap his nipple to tug it back and release. 

There’s an expectant look that makes Hakuryuu’s heart pound. Kouen’s hand rises, catching Hakuryuu’s eye. He watches it as touches his skin and make its descent. The friction feels ten times sharper on his still sensitive skin. It gets worse the lower Kouen goes.

Kouen’s hand finds his cock, and he looks right at Hakuryuu as he gives it a maddeningly gentle squeeze. Embarrassingly, this elicits a noticeable throb in him.

Kouen says, “It is all I would ask of you.” Another squeeze and Hakuryuu swallows. “This night, at least. Your Majesty.”

Hakuryuu bites his lip hard only for Kouen to release him and go to his hip instead. The rough heat of his palm is just as welcome there, however. He rocks into the soothing touch without being consciously aware of doing so.

Kouen still kisses, lower still down his stomach, making his destination unmistakable. Next, his mouth replaces his hand, teeth grazing his hip and Hakuryuu gasps, hips rising from the bed. Kouen takes the opportunity to press his face to him, flush to his thigh, and breathes heavily.

Looking up at him, he parts Hakuryuu’s legs. Lustful and it turns him on so much. He holds Hakuryuu’s cock loosely, brings it close to his face. Heat but no touch, and Hakuryuu withholds every undignified sound trying to crawl free of his throat.

Kouen’s fingers move perfectly, teasing all the right places with expert precision. Not even that hard yet but Kouen is making short work of it. His tongue slides out to the head, pressing to tease the slit in particular. He murmurs, “Your Majesty tastes better than anything.”

From there, he licks until the head is glistening in saliva. There is so much it drips down in a long line that resembles precum. Kouen opens his mouth around it. He lets moist breath cocoon him before closing his lips just past the head of Hakuryuu’s cock and sucking gently.

Preemptively Hakuryuu grips the blankets with one hand and Kouen’s hair with the other. Again his hips buck totally on instinct but Kouen refuses to take him deeper. He groans in frustration and thrusts his hips in protest. “Hurry up. Do it already.”

Under his breath so low Hakuryuu almost can’t hear it Kouen tsks. “So impatient.” But right after that he gives him what he wants and takes him to his throat.

Hakuryuu moans, rolling his hips into the hard suction and wet heat. Hard but at the cost of being tortuously slow. Kouen is in no rush and wants him to know. Hakuryuu imagines shoving his cock down Kouen’s throat. It would drag along the back at his discretion while Kouen gagged. As nice as that would be, Hakuryuu’s limbs have fallen boneless. They are at the mercy and whims of Kouen’s mouth, just like the rest of him.

Just when he thinks he cannot take anymore, Kouen smoothly takes the entirety of him. His cock slides delightfully on the back of his throat, which tightens in time with the twitches of his cock. Kouen keeps him in his throat and sucks like he will never let it go. Weakly, he pulls Kouen’s head closer and ruts into his face.

Kouen goes back to rubbing his hip and moans deep. The strong vibration goes all through him and makes him shiver.

Kouen pulls back, lips a delightful wet mess. His grabs the base of Hakuryuu’s cock and pumps leisurely. His tongue cups the underside of his cock like it's a tray. Then his lips wrap firmly. It takes only a few quick pumps before Hakuryuu comes, sinking into the pillows in bliss. More whimpers than he wants escape through Kouen’s subsequent licks and kisses, which Kouen ignores until he’s gone soft and his task is done.

Kouen slides up him, nuzzling his body on the way. The look in his eye is almost predatory, but nothing about that word suits him right now. Opportunistic, maybe. Or possessive. He touches Hakuryuu’s neck and it sends a small shock through him.

“May I kiss you, Hakuryuu?”

With the vestiges of orgasm still at the forefront of his mind he nods and leans in first. Kouen lets him taste himself on his tongue, so Hakuryuu kisses more voraciously to get more of it.

After the taste starts to fade Hakuryuu pulls Kouen back with him so he can lay his head on his shoulder. “Okay. Just tonight, though.”

“Of course.”

Hakuryuu bites the inside of his cheek. “I mean it.” Just like he meant it last time and every other time he said he’d be sleeping in the room provided to him. It seems the only times they don’t end up in bed together is when it isn’t an option.

Kouen does not miss a beat. “Yes, Your Majesty. As you say. I would not dare hold Your Majesty against your will nor could I.”

“I can’t stand you.”

Kouen outright laughs at him. Again. Though, it is softer than usual.

Hakuryuu doesn’t even know what to say or how to respond, so he doesn’t. That often is the case, unfortunately. Sometimes it is hard to believe the Kouen he knows now was once the crown prince of Kou or its most revered general. Hakuryuu sees none of that in him, now. The dissonance it creates permeates their every interaction and Hakuyuu is no closer to coming to terms with it now than he was a month ago.

Hakuryuu says these things, voices his distrust, his dislike, and Kouen never fails to meet him with understanding. Just once he would like Kouen to respond in kind, and let the resentment he carries choke him.


End file.
